Chicago-Bound Passenger Strips Down and Drops a Deuce in Seat Mid-Flight

Sometimes, a headline writes itself. And sometimes, it also makes you cancel your travel plans and vow to never sit in 17B again.

Welcome to the Windy City... Please Keep Your Pants On

Southwest Airlines Flight 418 from Philadelphia to Chicago's Midway Airport made the news for something you definitely didn't see on the in-flight safety card. According to a report from NBC News, a female passenger not only stripped off all her clothes mid-flight, but also decided the best place to relieve herself was right there in her seat.

Flight attendants kept their cool, law enforcement met the plane upon landing, and the aircraft was immediately taken out of service for what we can only assume was an emergency-level biohazard clean. Honestly, that poor seat has been through more than the Kennedy Expressway during rush hour.

MORE: Illinois Police Warning For People Who Ride This On Interstate

Would You Like Peanuts or a Poncho

Southwest issued a very polite statement thanking their crew and apologizing to passengers for the delay, though no one apologized to the seat cushion, which was most definitely not ready for this level of trauma. If that seat could talk, it would file a formal complaint and request witness protection.

A Quick Word Before We Gag Again

This sounds like someone in serious distress. Mental health is no joke, even if your naked nightmare at 30,000 feet kind of is.

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